How we can help cope with grief TDW - Hypnotherapy Harrogate
When you lose a loved one it can feel like the world has changed forever. Like you will never get over that kicked-in-the-gut feeling or that overwhelming dread. Something big is missing and you don't know how life will carry on. The pain is physical and mental.
Should you see a hypnotherapist to help with the anguish?
The human grief process takes time. We all experience it differently but it follows certain stages.
Shock & Denial
Pain & Guilt
Anger & Bargaining
Depression, reflection & loneliness
5. Turning the corner
6. Reconstruction & working through
The first 4 stages are the most painful. It can take a year to start feeling better. Whilst the psychology of grief hasn't been studied all that well and questions still remain, it seems like the human brain has to go through the stages to process a significant loss. The brain has to actually change the way it operates to accommodate the new reality.
We have an in-built pain avoidance reaction. This can slow down the grief process as we try not to feel the pain. People who allow themselves to cry, think and talk about the situation from the start recover quicker than those who don't. Expression of emotion can make others uncomfortable and their instinct is to soothe or not want to discuss things. But this prolongs the process. Trapped emotion causes ongoing discomfort by keeping the memories too active instead of 'putting them to bed'.
So, having hypnotherapy in the beginning stages to help reduce the pain is not recommended. Allowing the brain to feel the pain is more beneficial. Even though it is uncomfortable and counterintuitive at the time. The brain has to feel itself going through the process in order for it to develop new neural pathways. This can take a year.
Hypnotherapy can be used to access trapped pain that hasn't been processed. When the grief process has stalled or is moving very slowly. Most people who seek help realise that they have become stuck at a certain point. Either by coming to their own conclusion or being advised by concerned others. At this stage, subconscious work is beneficial and shouldn't interfere with the natural processing, it simply gives it a gentle nudge in the right direction. This helps for any loss or amount of time that has elapsed. Some people have this trapped pain for many decades and hypnotherapy can still help.
Releasing the trapped pain, anger, guilt, regret and blame allows the negativity to drain away. In brain pathway terms, hypnotherapy accesses the memories stored in an easily accessible and reactive area (the amygdala) and by allowing the strong emotion to be released, the memories themselves can then be stored in long-term memory, a different part of the brain. Once in long-term memory the memories are remembered but do not provoke strong emotional reactions. So you can think about the lost loved one with appreciation and positivity instead of pain and negativity.
If you would like to find out more or just have a chat about what grief stage you might be in then book a call by clicking on the button.
For how hypnotherapy can help with grief please call us me at 01423 206218 TDW Hypnotherapy Harrogate | Leeds | Surrounding areas