Relationships

Did you know that couples counselling has a 75% failure rate? (Gottman Institute). Just talking about the problem rarely leads to the amount of change that is needed to get a relationship back on track.

Using the Gottman method, I help you to understand what the problem really is (usually not what you think) and how each of you can make effective changes based on proper research, not guesswork.

Whilst the Gottman method is considered the best in the world (based on over 30 years of cutting edge research) I also use the power of hypnosis in individual sessions with each partner. Most of us react in ways that we have picked up along the way, usually in the first 7 years of life. Ideas of how relationships should or should not be, how we should or should not behave, what we  will or will not expect from our partner etc. These are based on what we have been taught or observed. Often this rigidity gets in the way of peaceful, positive interaction. It causes stress from unfulfilled expectations and demands.

We cling onto these ways of thinking as if they are facts and necessary for living together. Each having our own agendas, defending our demands and feeling negative if the other doesn't readily agree. No wonder couples sometimes feel like nothing is working, they have lost touch or can't seem to agree on anything.

Stress is the biggest destroyer of relationships. The most shocking thing about this is that stress is SUBJECTIVE. So how we feel about a situation or circumstance has more influence than the occurrence itself. This is what causes the damage.

My approach is to help you get over yourself. This may sound harsh. But if you understand why and where expectations come from, you can realise that they are, for the most part, not authentically you. By working with you separately to release the negativity weighing you down and help you discover what is important, we then come together with a more positive approach to resolving the issues causing the problem in the first place.

Even if some couples decide not to stay together, this self-discovery and healing results in a more amicable parting as well as significantly enhancing future relationships. For those who do stay together, your interaction will have changed for the better as you have the resources and knowledge to make it so. 

As far as I know my three-pronged approach is unique. I combine the practical methods of highly successful research-based psychology together with the individual self-development of hypnotherapy. 

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