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Prince Harry - is he a barefaced liar? Part I

To investigate this more closely we need to take a look at the definition and types of liar.

According to Wikipedia:

"Lying is the act of both knowingly and intentionally or willfully making a false statement."

(According to this, we will ignore those lies told unwittingly or as a result of neuropathy and illness/impared cognition).

There are different types or levels of lying. Although some levels are considered a mental disorder, there is currently no definitive agreement on what they are or how to classify them. So they fall into categories.

Most people tell lies, even if they are white lies. Normally lying helps to avoid the consequences of telling the truth. Perhaps to spare someones feelings, be accepted or go along with something. These kinds of lies have their place in society, they grease the wheels of social interaction. We may feel a pang of guilt saying someones new hairstyle is nice when asked but we would feel worse for them if we told the truth, so we can justify it internally. Parents often lie to their children to reassure them or build their confidence. Did you tell your children that Santa would bring them presents at Christmas?

Pathological lying is when someone makes it a habit. They may lie so much that they start to believe in them or have a need to perpetuate them. Often the lies don't seem necessary, they are not to avoid the consequences of telling the truth. In essence they are a form of showing off, exaggeration, to be seen in a favourable light. Telling the lies may not elicit guilt or anxiety at the time but may develop going forward as the lies are perpetuated and they fear being discovered. Pathological liars are usually aware that they are lying. They may be dramatic in the telling of the lies to seem more convincing.

The root causes are thought to include abandonment. stress, rejection, low self esteem or wanting to feel in control.

Psychopaths do not experience anxiety, guilt or stress about telling untruths. Unlike Pathological liars, they do not feel rejected, and have high levels of self-assurance. They lie to get what they want and do not bother about the negative consequences to others.

People may also lie for personal profit such as money, sex and power. Not necessarily pathological nor psychopath nor narcissist. They feel justified lying in certain circumstances, especially if someone they care for stands to benefit. Anxiety felt about lying at the time is overshadowed by self-justification.

Narcissists think they are perfect and aren't sympathetic to how others feel. They will defend their lies, even when evidence is presented to the contrary. Prone to using deflection and blaming others, they use manipulation and 'gaslighting' to get what they want.

With the interviews, including Oprah, the Netflix series, a court case and the book 'Spare', plenty of evidence has been unearthed to prove that Harry and Meghan have lied and distorted the truth in many of their assertions and recollections.

So what kind of liar would Prince Harry likely to be? First we must look at the background.

He grew up in a world of constant scrutiny by the press. Even as a young child he would have observed Princess Diana's attempts to protect their privacy from too much intrusion. He would also have sensed her anxiety and anger. Children learn and can internalise this very quickly during development stages.

He was only 12 when his world famous mother was killed in Paris, caused in part by the panic induced by intrusive paparazzi activity. Her brother laid the blame on the media during his eulogy. Now we have a devastated child who lost the brightest star in his universe to persistent, unwanted, deadly invasion of privacy against which they were all powerless.

As he got older he would have seen for himself how the media invent or misrepresent stories for sensationalist self-gain and profit. After initial sympathy and positive reporting, as he time passed he started hitting the headlines for mostly negative reasons. During the period when youngsters are naturally experimenting and exploring boundaries to develop their future ideology and personality, Prince Harry had his privacy invaded time and again. Scrutinised, criticised, compared and judged. A lot of negativity for a tender developing psyche to be exposed to.

Prince Harry enjoyed being in the army because he could simply be. Treated as (mostly) just another soldier, he could make friends, obey definite orders and feel like he was doing something worthy and useful. Alongside others who were doing the same. Although he was exposed to danger, it was different to being at the mercy of the media. This was noble and real. Any outside criticism of him could be shared with buddies who supported and believed him. He felt protected and wanted. Great for building self-esteem.

However, participating in war leaves scars in all but the toughest (who may have psychopathic tendencies anyway). Prince Harry suffered PTSD. Which takes time and a special type of therapy to overcome. He has had the time but not the right kinds of therapy in my opinion. Probably because this therapy is considered alternative and not practiced by most psychiatrists who stick to a more medical, scientific modus operandi.

So the PTSD is still active and this heightens anxiety, feelings of anger, arousal, helplessness, resentment and reactivity.

During all of this, Prince Harry was looked after by different people and led a psychologically unsure life. Outsiders may see this as a privileged life but imagine a young child with no loving, supporting mother to go to for reassurance and acceptance. At the same time being sent to boarding school, not having one home to come back to, rather a series of different impersonal palaces and large houses run by numerous staff. Family duties would take up his fathers time and attention, as well as his grandparents and other relatives who he may have been close to. Out of sympathy he was allowed more freedom than Prince William. His older brother was also starting to take on the mantle of kingship, he was receiving attention, tutelage, instruction, attending functions and being introduced to the press and public as a person of status and future leadership. Whilst Harry either tagged along or found himself other things to do.

Despite all efforts of the people around him, I think Harry felt lonely and left-out.

When he reached the dating stage, this was again ruined by media attention. Despite being viewed as one of the worlds most eligible bachelors, this press scrutiny would have scared off most suitable mates.

Desperately needing closeness, intimacy and love, this was thwarted by the press and would have left him even more resentful. Both of the media and the position he was born into. Which would have also included deep-seated negativity towards his father who represented that position and envy of his brother who had found a very suitable partner.

Prince Harry felt trapped in a world he didn't have control over. This same world hadn't offered him the deep human connections we all need to feel loved, accepted, cherished, supported, needed and wanted. Like most children from divorced parents, he was wary and threatened by the prospect of his father getting remarried. This stepmother wasn't just another stealer of his fathers limited time and attention, Harry saw her as the biggest source of pain for his (now idealised) mum.

Camilla couldn't have forged a close relationship with Harry even if she wanted to. She represented destruction and someone to blame and hate.

With all this hurt and trauma it is no surprise that Prince Harry used alcohol and drugs. I have not come across an addict yet that doesn't have underlying trauma. Whilst they do alleviate pain while they are active, unfortunately they are also destructive. Damaging the delicate structures of the brain and neural tissue. Resulting in memory blackouts, disordered thinking and in computer terms, data loss and corruption. Long-term use of marijuana can also cause paranoia, panic and heightened anxiety. These are not easily overcome because a certain amount of physical damage has been inflicted on cells that do not regenerate.

Prince Harrys cognitive abilities have impaired his ability to remember accurately.

His father couldn't replace the relationship he had with his mother, not a failing on anyones part, one person simply cannot be two. His other close bond was William. But William was also dealing with loss and a developing teenager himself. Being older, there were different expectations of him and he had a few extra years of maturity on Harry.

It would be entirely natural for Harry to feel he was not getting the deep connection and attention he craved. So he started to act out. If he could beat his brother at something, he would. Sport became the proving ground. Cameraderie and physicality. Competitive and oftentimes rough. It was an opportunity for Harry to prove his existence and show his bigger, elder brother that he was a worthy opponent. They are both tall and strong.

Princes Harry and William were no strangers to scrapping and shoving.

To recap. Here is a little boy who grew up in an unusually (psychologically) insecure environment. He is the younger of two same-sex siblings (important because the dynamic between opposite-sex siblings is different). Both parents have high-profile external activities that keep them from being at home a lot of the time so cared for by others. The media attention is seen as extremely negative by at least one parent, and contributes to the death of the parent he likely spends the most time with. When he needs more care and attention, the two closest bonds are struggling with their own grief and internal restructuring. His whole life is scrutinised and reported by the media, which changes from sympathy to criticism as he gets older. This leads to loneliness too as romantic relationships are thwarted. During all this, he is unsure of the role he is expected to take (he is not the heir apparent) yet prohibited many of the freedoms the rest of us take for granted.

Yes, he does not have normal everyday worries like how he will put a roof over his head, pay for his next meal, look for a job etc and to the rest of us it looks like he is ungratefully privileged. But the stress of expectation, constant scrutiny and performing for others takes its toll.


Disclaimer: these are my own opinions based on currently available information already in the public domain. I am not a doctor so any personal health issues should be discussed with your GP or health specialist.

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